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KetaN SalamoN NadaR

I change for a Change and I dont change for that change
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Breakup

21 Jul 2010 00:53:54

Note: I am not here to hurt anyone by this post. I am not saying I am an emotionless person.

Huh..Enough is enough.

People are both not happy with each other or they want something else or any other reason which is creating adrift between couples and they end up in a break up. I am hearing these days a lot of break up stories more than the hook up stories. It is still a heart stirring feeling what would have happened between the couples which went into a breakup. Some people were not severely affected by a break up but some were very severely affected by break ups.

Everyone in this earth is different and their problems and their solutions. So it is not easy to pin down this break up was severe or this one was grave. In the end break up is break up, where the couple decides to stay away from each other. It will be very difficult to pin down a situation why a break up happens between a couple. But it is how they handle the life after can be thought of and followed for their own betterment.

After listening to so many of my friends, relatives and colleagues (for whom I feel very sorry for their situation). I have some of my views on how to overcome a break up.

Before telling anything on that, I just want to say. Every relation with whom you make is very rare, and when you don’t have that relation with you, it hurts...No it hurts a lot. But life is not just about crying of the old relationship which is not there, but it is to look forward for the new relationship which you make and the relation which is there with you.

Breakup


5 Ways to overcome a break up

1) Dont Expect - After a breakup people start to expect that their ex would come back to their lives after forgetting what has happened. If you keep expecting like this, it will hurt you more. You will be in losing side if they never come back in your life. It is at this time you need to stop expecting from your ex about the revival.

2) Dispose off - Think of all the good stuffs which you must have exchanged. May be gifts, letters, emails, sms take them and throw it away. You have to make sure everything and every bit should be disposed in such a way that it cannot be recovered by any means. If you have gifts, letters burn them (Jab we met style), emails, sms- delete it from the inbox, phone no- delete it from your phone book. Do this immediately after your break up which will help you forget your ex.

3) Work some way - It is not always easy to forget or overcome someone whom you loved. But you need to move on when the time comes. It is during the break up you need to show some positive sign and then move on. The lonely time will be haunting you, you may remember the old times. You can try pursuing something which will help you .You can either join Gymnasiums. Tone your body for a six pack or a size zero. Take up a hobby or join an NGO. Don’t while away the time by sitting alone. It is said, an idle mind is devils workshop. So indulge yourself in something or the other. Time is the best healer.

4) Live for others - You don’t know how many people like you and love you. It was not only the ex which loved your or cared. It is your parents, friends, relatives, colleagues who count on you. They want you to be happy and cheerful.

5) Not the end - Learn from the mistakes which you made in your past relationship with your ex. Let it be a lesson for you, so that you don’t make the same again in your new relation which may come in your way. Life is not about the past, it is about the present and the future how you shape it. Mind you, when someone breaks your heart it is not the end. It may be a beginning of a new relation, may be that is the reason the old one had to end.

Now the points which I had told above may sound simple or stupid. Someone even may argue, "Tujhe kya pata..pyaar kya hota hai...Ketan sathiya gaya hai"(What does he know about love!Ketan has gone crazy). I am not here to say what is love or what is hate. I just want to tell my friends or anyone who reads this. It is not easy to come out of the break up. But it is not impossible either.

People get into relationship just because they like each other and they feel happy in each other company. Now when you or your partner doesn’t feel the same or due to any other reason you or the person must have taken the harsh step to move away. Why don’t you take it in a positive way, if the same strained relation would have prolonged your life would have been very difficult. May be you must thank the other person who somehow left you with some precious teachings of life.

You may even feel to cry at some point. You may feel to even take some harsh steps. You may feel world is full of betrayal. You may feel many negative things surrounding you. You may.... But in the end you should think of the beautiful life your parents have gifted you. Your siblings need a wonderful sibling like you to be their support. Your friends want someone with whom they can party around. Your company needs you to work for them so that you both may prosper. Your country needs a patriotic servant like you. So you can just think, it is not just about one person the life revolves but for many other people.

Moral : Dont get bogged down by break ups. Get over it because life is more than that.


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Friends comments and suggestions

Shilpa Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 10:28:43
hey Ketan... i truly agree with the trauma that people go over during and after breakups... one should always make themselves understand that the other person wasnt as worthy of their trust
Nikhil Dhar Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 10:33:26
Sir , too good ....i agree with you on all the above mentioned points..trust me i have implemented them many times since childhood.hehehe;).. they actually work...One more point shud have been added - " Duniya ka sbse bada dukh ladki deti aur Duniya ki sbse badi khushi bhi ladki hi deti hai..so get on to a new one asap" (No Entry movie)gr8 blog sir , keep it up ..Regards
Rama Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 10:56:25
kya re bhai.. kuch hogaya kya..!
Nitin Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 11:10:01
Break ups are a part of life and I would say each and every one should have them, experience them, learn from them, enjoy them and then enjoy the new colors that come after that.People who get lost in the world of post-breakup fantasy either have not work or have work that they dont love. I dont fully agree with the part that pursue something to "get over" break up. That way you are not giving full respect to the work also, that you plan to do as an ointment. Take break ups as a phase in life. Enjoy it and forget it
Nitin Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 11:21:14
Break ups are a part of life and I would say each and every one should have them, experience them, learn from them, enjoy them and then enjoy the new colors that come after that.People who get lost in the world of post-breakup fantasy either have not work or have work that they dont love. I dont fully agree with the part that pursue something to "get over" break up. That way you are not giving full respect to the work also, that you plan to do as an ointment. Take break ups as a phase in life. Enjoy it, Love it and then Deal with it
Santhosh Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 12:21:45
Dude!!!! you are talking like a experienced guy!!! anyway it is well written.....
Keshav Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 14:06:19
So true are the remidies you have mentioned for getting over breakups..And its also true that breakups would rather never happen if the centre of your love is not just the bodily relation with a lot of expectations.We tend to forget that the image of the person that we always love never changes however the person and we by ourselves always keep changing which is why there is a change in the actual person we want to love and the person we have infront of us....what se?anycase kudos to you for having studied the complex life in courtship heh!
Ketan Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 18:02:53
@Shilpa : Thank you for dropping in. Yes I do agree of the trauma what people go through..

@Nikhil Dhar : Hey man how come you can always think of a boy. Even a girl will go through the pain when there is a break up. Thank you mate..

@Rama : No man all is fine. It is just a thought which I thought of sharing.

@Nitin : Hey man.I am not saying an ointment,but it will obviously help in coming over the pain. Thanks .

@Santhosh: Thank you man.

@Keshav : Yes you are right it is the reflection you see of yourself in others. Thank you for the response..
Nethra Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 19:42:54
I was always single so don't know the pain of breakup.
Nethra Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 19:43:09
I was always single so don't know the pain of breakup.
Nethra Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 19:43:35
I was always single so don't know the pain of breakup.
Nethra Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 19:44:39
I was always single so don't know the pain of breakup.
Nethra Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 19:45:32
I was always single so don't know the pain of breakup.
Nethra Says:
21 Jul 2010 at 19:46:55
I was always single so don't know the pain of breakup.
Anup Says:
22 Jul 2010 at 11:45:17
Breakup gives you a break to know more beautiful people around you. Breakup doesn't mean the end of the world. Rather it is a all new beginning :)
saumya Says:
22 Jul 2010 at 12:09:19
ur points are very practical
Vivek Khadge Says:
22 Jul 2010 at 22:00:16
Hi Ketan I think u have given some good perspective about Break-ups. But I seriously do not have any idea about it (thanks to almighty). I can only try to imagine but cannot understand its actual effects.To be frank, I am very scared of relationships for the obvious reason - "Break-Up".
Ketan Says:
25 Jul 2010 at 02:29:07
@Nethra : That is good that you have not experienced the pain of break up.

@Anup : Yes you are right it is a new beginning. With a new start.

@Saumya : Thank you very much

@Vivek Khadge : Thank you for the appreciation. But just due to some break ups you cannot under estimate you and say I am afraid of break ups. This is just like telling I am scared of water so I will not swim. Enjoy life.
Justin Says:
26 Jul 2010 at 08:10:15
Hey !!! The only solution to come out of a breakup is find an alternative. No smoke, no drinking can get u out of it. Finding sum1 else is d best solution.
Ketan Says:
26 Jul 2010 at 19:09:53
@Justin : Hey man. This is also a way to come out of break up..